I hate how pocket pinchingly quiet January is, the lack of money in peoples pockets mean that venues make cut backs and try to avoid wasting money, and so my usual venue was closed on Friday night, meaning that I didn't earn, and so making my pocket that much emptier. This credit crunch sucks.
On Saturday night I ejected a gentleman from the club for starting a fight..
'but bruv, listen bruv, i aint takin the piss out of you bruv, i just come out of pen bruv, you're safe bruv, but bruv listen, let me back in yeh?'
'Sorry sir, not tonight, you're talking to me perfectly politely but club policy is that if you are involved in an incident you are excluded from the club that night, you're welcome to come back next week'
For a further 5 or so mins, longer than my patience can hold, this dialogue continues... until it gets to this;
'nah bruv, i don't give a fuck bruv, my cousin is in there innit bruv, i just want to get him bruv and take him home bruv'
'I'm not your 'brother' please walk away from my door'
'I didn't say you were my brother bruv, its just how i talk bruv'
I wasn't quite sure what was wrong with him, but he seemed to have some sort of verbal diarrhea that caused his brain to malfunction into having an extremely limited vocabulary as to have to use a particularly annoying title over and over again...
bruv is equally as annoying as mate,
tell me, what do you hate being called on the door?
Give it up
14 years ago
3 comments:
Currently i get wound up with guys in their early 20's calling me son. Im 35yo and look like im 40.
That gets right on my nerves, little jumped up chav type "alreeet son, am i alreeet to come in?" And the other thing that i hear atleast 3 times a night is one of a group of guys who whilst pointing to either the youngest looking or the one who looks to be the soberist, comes out with this little gem "Ey mate, don't let him in mate, yeah him mate, don't let him in mate", then chuckle to themselves going through the door, thinking they are the funniest guy on earth.
Bro, Bra, Broham, Buddy, Dude, Mate, Bloke, etc...
I don't even give out my real name half the time. Usually I go with a typical name. This way when they walk up on a busy night I can play it off as if I have a twin brother that works there as well. And it actually works.
I had to explain to a guy once that I was playing the twin brother game on him after a couple months when he became a regular. He thought it was hilarious and couldn't believe that he actually fell for it.
Moosh,
Gadgee,
Bro, Bruv, Bruvvah,
All of which will seriously increase anyones chances of getting knocked back.
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